Kumakalakalabukab…

WHY?

I have asked you a lot of times, when you find a new one, just let me know… as I won’t get hurt but happy. Because I am no longer the same woman you used to love. Because I know, when we finally see each other again, there is a hundred percent chance that I will ask for freedom. I just can’t do it over an internet or telephone conversation. Because when I asked you once, you have said that it is better for you to jump off the ship. I don’t want this.

But WHY?

Shortly after your vacation, you had a new one. Of course, I don’t have any idea. As I trust your declaration of love. But you made a mistake of entrusting me your mail account. To clean it up for you… as it open gates to reality.

Have you been truthful, I probably won’t feel this pain. But the truth of my discovery only put lemon juice to my just sliced up wound. Why? You just called me a few days ago to tell me you missed me… you didn’t even forget to greet me on my birthday… then you asked me to clean up your mail account. Is this your reason? So I may found out?

But as promised, I will still be your friend. I hope I can. After your lies… I hope I can…

There is a thin line separating LOVE and HATE. And I am in the boundary… One more chance!!!
NO! I am not being proud, as I am aware of my mistakes but I also know when to stop. If having you is detrimental to myself then I have to let go. I am so tired. I don’t know anymore…

You said you want me to be happy. That your goal is to show me how much you love me. But how can I be happy when whenever I see your face, I see sadness. Why can’t you be happy around me? Why are you still hurting? Why don’t you just forget the past? And, let’s enjoy the future…

Sometimes, we make decisions that we believe were right on the onset but realized along the way that its not. Then, we can not do anything to make it better. What we do is to be strong and face the consequence.
There are times when we are certain that it is not right but we thought we are ready to face the consequences that it may bring. But, on the long run, we realized that we are weak to handle the stress of the situation and we succumbed to depression and self pity.

I wrote something after quite some time.  Its entitled ‘i’ve committed a taboo’… but great!  Just great!  I lost it!.. Kakabad trip… waaah!!! Bakit kasi di muna naggawa ng draft eh.  FCUK!!!