How S2pid are you?

February 12, 2008 at 11:30 pm (Kwento-kwento lang)

Sabado night na naman, as usual gimik na naman ng mga kaibigan.  Hangga’t maaari, pinalalakas ko ang aking loob sa pagpapaalam sa Tita ko na lalabas ako.  Its not a big deal to her and yet, nahihiya pa din akong magpaalam ng magpaalam.  Di pa din nawawala sa aking katauhan ang aking kinasanayan sa Pinas, whereas, napakahirap lumabas sa gabi.  Pero ang pinakamahirap pa dito, ang magpaalam.  San ka pa nakakita ng tapos na ng kolehiyo at never na nagloko sa pag-aaral, nalulong sa bisyo o nagtalipandas na ang curfew sa bahay ay alas-nueve ng gabi.  Okay pa sana kung bente anyos lang, pero ilang panahon na lang aabot na sa trenta ang edad.  Anyway, the character that culminates back home is something that can’t be changed.  On how we are raised, the values that are taught to us will always remain wherever we are.  Kaya nga kahit kewl lang sa Tita na lumabas ako, since ito lang ang pagkakataon na makakalabas ako, hindi ko pa din masyadong ine-exercise ang karapatang ito.  Most of my cousins who were raised here thinks I should not be like this but what the heck, I respect the people whom I am living with and I care for what they’ll say or think about me.

Kaya ganun na nga, minsan sa isang buwan, nagpapaalam ako at isa ang Sabadong nagdaan sa panahong iyon.  Masaya ang salo-salo sa bahay ng kaibigan.  Ito lang naman ang palipas oras ng mga Pinoy dito, ang magtipon-tipon sa isang bahay, magsalo-salo sa pagkain, konting inom at kantahan.  Espesyal ang araw na ito dahil kaarawan ng isang tropa.  Medyo madami-dami ang inumin na nakahanda.

Magulo na ang bawat isa, kanya-kanya na ng biritan sa hawak na mikropono.  Merong madrama, merong masaya at meron ding nakakaaliw.  Tuksuhan at kantiyawan, kasama na din ang pag-pose sa harap ng kamera.  Kanya-kanyang tulakan sabay wika ng isa, “O i-post agad sa friendster yan ah, i-grab ko na lang.”  Masaya ang pagsama-samang ganito.  Sa tuwina ay nababawasan ang pangungulila ko sa mga mahal ko.

Sa isang sulok, lasing at madrama ay naroon si Trinity.  Inaya niya ako sa taas ng bahay at iniwan ang nagkakasayahang tropa sa basement.  “Hilo na ako, tara samahan mo muna ako sa taas”  wika niya.  Iiwan ko na sana siya upang makaagaw ng tulog bago kami magkayayaang umuwi, subalit pagtalikod ko ay muli siyang nagsalita.

Trinity:  What’s the most stupid thing that you do?
Shay:  Ako, hindi ko alam eh, madami siguro.  Why?
Trinity:  So you opt not to share anything?  …Well, its okay, just listen to me then.  This is the burden I keep down in my heart for quite a long time.

At inilahad nga niya ang pangyayaring kanyang nagawa…

It was almost a year after her then boyfriend call it quits between them.  He said he can’t continue the relationship without her beside him.  Trinity totally understand his situation.  Even before they enter their relationship, she knows the score.  She is but the second or probably the third among his priority.  He still wants to help his family to make himself grow.  And having her is such a hindrance, especially that she is far from him.  He can’t get any support from her emotionally rather he is tormented with the fact that he can’t hold her whenever he needs her.  So he chose to end the relationship rather than mind her.

She felt betrayed but still she tried to be strong.  To continue living her life the way it was before.  She enrolled herself into short courses.  And there, she met Jeppy.  Their relationship is a friendly one.  Tropa, tsuper kapag gumigimik sila ng barkada sa klase, tagahatid sa bahay.  Wala naman talagang hihigit pa sa relasyong iyon maliban sa pagkakaibigan dahil may asawa na si Jeppy.

Minsan, nagkayayaan ang tropa na mamundok.  Hindi naman eksaktong mountain climbing kundi magpalipas lang ng gabi sa tabing ilog sa isang malayong bayan.  Siyempre pa, tsuper si Jeppy at hindi naman niya i-give-up ang pwesto niya sa van… at un ay sa tabi ni Jeppy.  Madami pa silang kwentuhan habang nasa daan habang nagkakagulo naman ang iba sa likod ng van.  Madalas, tinutukso sila pero tinatawanan na lamang nila.

Pagdating sa site, tinayo na nila ang kanilang tent.  Pasaway ang kasama nilang instructor dahil masyadong na-appreciate ang paligid ay pinaggawa sila ng sanaysay sa kung ano ang kanilang nararamdaman.   Ginawa ang outing bilang excuse sa kanilang quiz.  Sabay-sabay sa angalan ang iba niyang kamag-aral pero pawang nagsisunod din.  Pagkatapos nito, nagkayayaan silang maligo sa ilog.  Ninamnam ang lamig ng tubig na nagdulot ng ginhawa sa kanilang pagal sa byahe at habang nilakad na katawan.

Pagsapit ng gabi, kanya kanya na ng gimik ang iba… kanya-kanyang gawa ng bonfire.  Siyempre pa, magkaka-umpok sina Jeppy at Trinity at iba pa sa tropa.  Nagkayayaang mag-inuman upang palipasin ang lamig na nanunuot sa kanilang katawan.  Kanya-kanyang kwento at patawa.  Kailangan nila ng flashlight… mayroon kasi silang nais tingnan sa lugar ng falls kaya naman bumalik sa tent niya si Trinity.  Kasama niya dito ang dalawang kaklase.  Tulog na ang isa, habang ang isa naman ay gising pa ng pumasok siya.  Si Mandy, isang tomboy na binibiro ni Trinity.  Pinagbabawalan siya ni Mandy na bumalik at uminom pa dahil lasing na daw siya.  Natuwa naman siya sa pag-aalala nito subalit sabi niya ay kaya pa niya.  Nagulat na lamang siya ng hatakin siya pabalik ni Mandy ng akmang lalabas na siya tangan ang flashlight at hawakan sa dibdib at akmang hahalikan.  Nagulat siya sa ginawa nito dahil alam naman niyang makulit lang talaga siya.  Ilang buwan na silang magkakasama at alam naman ni Mandy na biruan lang ang sa kanila.  Dali-daling lumabas si Trinity ng tent at bumalik sa umpukan na parang walang nangyari. 

Lasing na din si Jeppy ng mga panahong ito.  Nagkakayayaan ng matulog.  Hindi na nais ni Trinity na bumalik sa tent na nakalaan sa kanila, kaya ng humiling si Jeppy na sa van na lamang sila matulog ay sinang-ayunan niya, kasama ang apat pa sa tropa.  Kung titingnan ay halos pares-pares sila, pero dahil sa tropa nga, ay di naman sila nag-iisip ng ganun.  Isa pa, alam nilang pagdating sa taas ay sa iisang van lamang sila matutulog.

Subalit hindi ganun ang nangyari, may kanya kanyang motibo ang apat nilang kasama at pawang nagsituloy sa kani-kanilang sasakyan kaya naman naiwan si Trinity kay Jeppy.  Marahil gusto nya din, dahil kahit papaano ay may nararamdaman na siyang pagkalinga kay Jeppy at dine-deny lamang ito n kanyang isipan.

Kaya naman ng gabing iyon, kahalo ang kalasingan, ang kinikimkim na sama ng loob sa dating kasintahan, ay may naganap sa pagitan nila.  Hindi niya matanggap sa sarili ang pangyayaring ito, kaya naman sa kabila ng pagpipigil ni Jeppy ay lumipat siya sa kabilang van at dun natulog.  Mailap ang tulog sa kanya, subalit nagpanggap na tunay na naidlip pagsapit ng umaga.  Bago bumalik sa campsite ay nagkape muna sila sa tindahan sa taas.

Ng makabalik, pinag-uusapan na sila sa campsite dahil maagang nagising ang kasama nilang instructor.  Pero deadma lang ang lahat… matatanda na sila at alam na nila ang kanilang ginagawa, di na sila teenager, dugtong pa nila.  At higit sa lahat, malinis ang kanilang konsiyensya.

Nauna sa kurso si Jeppy kaya naman una din siyang natapos.  Matapos ang huling subject na kung saan nagkasama sila sa gimik sa ilog ay isang linggo na lamang silang muling nagkasama sa loob ng lecture room.  Ng mga panahong yun, iniwasan pa ni Trinity sa disimuladong paraan si Jeppy.  Subalit ng panahong di sila nagkikita ay labis niyang na-miss ito. 

Sa nangyari sa gimik nila, kasama sa apat na tropa na nakasama nila sa van ay mayroon siyang itinuturing na tatay-tatayan.  Alam din nito ang pangyayaring naganap dahil sa confession ng isa nilang nakasama.  Dahil may asawa si Jeppy ay pinagsabihan niya si Trinity sa maayos na paraan.  Subalit may kakulitan din si Trinity, di niya kayang di man lang makita si Jeppy.

Minsang may inuman na for the boys sa bahay ni Tino (ang tatay figure) ay pinilit ni Trinity na makapunta.  May kantahan at labis siyang natuwa ng awitan siya ni Jeppy.  At sa pagitan ng pag-awit ay hinagkan siya.  Feeling cloud nine siya ng mga oras na iyon habang namumula sa harap ng iba pa sa kaumpukan nila.  Lasing si Jeppy, hindi dapat siya pumaroon, pero nangyari na, bahala na, wika niya.

Nais ni Jeppy na ito na ang maghatid sa kanya pag-uwi subalit tinanggihan niya.  Salamat kay Tino na nagmagandang loob at umaktong isang mabuting ama na naghatid sa kanya sa bahay.

Dalawang buwan pa ang lumipas at ng muli niyang makita si Jeppy ay nag-aayos ito ng papel para mangibang bansa.  Nauna na ang kanyang asawa at susunod lamang siya.  Kasama pa si Tino at isa pang kaibigan ng kunin ang ticket nito.  Muli iniimbitahan siya ni Jeppy na dumalo sa inuman bilang despedida niya.  Iyon ay matapos niyang pasayahin si Jeppy sa likod ng van.  Ng mga oras na iyon, sina Tino at isang kaibigan ay bumili ng maiinom sa tindahan habang naghihintay sa taong magdadala ng ticket ni Jeppy.  Agency kasi ang nagpalakad sa kanya patungo sa ibang bansa.

Matinding pagnanais na makarating ang naghahari sa kalooban ni Trinity, subalit pinigilan niya ang kanyang sarili dahil alam niyang mali ang kanyang ginagawa.  Mali na ang ginawa nila noong una sa ilog, mali na ang namagitang halik  at lalong mali ang ginawa nila sa van.  Sa tatlong pagkakataon, naramdaman niyang ibinaba niya ang kanyang sarili.  Sobrang baba na hindi niya matanggap kung bakit niya nagawa. 

Nakaalis na si Jeppy, gusto sana niyang buksan ang komunikasyon sa pagitan nilang dalawa, kewl lang sa isa sa tropa na nakakaalam ng nangyari, habang si Tino ay siya ang pinagdedesisyon.  Sa kabila ng minsanang pangangamusta, pinigil niya ang sariling idagdag si Jeppy sa ym niya.  Dati ay tandang tanda pa niya ang yahoo id nito, subalit ngaun ay limot na niya.  Ayaw na niyang maalala ang bahaging iyon ng kanyang buhay.  Kinakailangan niyang mag-move on.  Isa pang nakakatawang pangyayari, ayon sa kanya.  Ang bansang pinuntahan ni Jeppy ay siya mismong bansa ring kinaroroonan ng lalaking una niyang minahal.  Ang tadhana nga naman.

♥♥♥

Matapos ang kanyang kwento ay hindi ako makakibo, di makapaniwala.  Akala ko ay tapos na, na nakatulog na siya… subalit di pa ako tuluyang nakakabuwelong tumayo upang bumalik sa kaguluhan ng tropa ay muli siyang nagsalita…

Trinity:  But that is not the most stupid thing I did, there is more, a lot more.  One with a whole lot of trouble altogether…

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ExTrAvErSiOn

February 12, 2008 at 12:31 am (Personal)

  • Introduction to Extraversion
  • When it comes to Extraversion you are
  • Words that describe you
  • A General Description of How You Interact with Others
  • Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
  • Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
Introduction to Extraversion
Some days you want to hang out by yourself, not answer the phone, and make the world go away. The next day you e-mail everyone, schedule lunch with a friend, and try to find an evening gathering to take part in. It may be the phases of the moon, or something you ate; some days are just like that. In actuality, your desire to be with others or to be alone reflects something deep in your personality. Some of us are more comfortable by ourselves or with one or two friends, while others of us crave the crowd and can’t stand it when the house is empty or the phone doesn’t ring. The following paragraphs describe your fundamental desires about being with other people; whether you are generally an outgoing person or more reserved, if you seek adventures with others, if you tend toward assertiveness or kindness.
When it comes to Extraversion you are:
OUTGOING
Words that describe you:
  • Friendly
  • Gregarious
  • Full of Life
  • Unreserved
  • Kindhearted
  • Talkative
  • Emotional
  • Spontaneous
  • Vigorous
    A General Description of How You Interact with Others
    People light you up. In conversations, planning meetings or almost any social situation, you bring your energy and your friendly, outgoing personality into these engagements with other people, and you come away pumped up. You can hardly wait for the next event, as long as other people will be there. And you’re good at it.You know how to communicate. You listen well, the first rule of good communication, and then, when it’s your turn, you talk vigorously and with animation; in your uninhibited way you give all that you’ve got to the encounter.

    In situations where you feel very safe, when you know and trust the people you’re with, you can be very kindhearted and unrestrained. You let your affection for and pleasure in being with others flow freely. You’re wide open And when you get back this same kind of unrestrained warmth, you are deeply satisfied. Because you are so friendly and full of life, these are among your favorite moments.
    Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
    As much as you like being with other people, not everyone will like being with you. Hard to believe, but your gregarious and warm manner is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people are more cautious than you in personal encounters; others think the work place should be more formal, more impersonal than is comfortable for you. Still others, who may want more of the spotlight, will find you too much to compete with once you get your lively and outgoing self in motion.Here’s another word of caution. You’ve been at this warm and open way of relating for a while, but for some people it’s a brand new experience. They may be protecting something inside themselves, some fear or guilt or shame, or some private part of their story that they’re not yet ready to share. Your openness might threaten them, and they’ll take a step back and be reluctant the next time to engage you in the kind of exchange you find so easy and satisfying but they find so dangerous.

     
    Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
    Many people, most probably, will be glad to be in the room you’re in. At work you make the environment livelier and the banter more interesting, so the time moves swiftly and the experience is a happier one. At home you keep everyone connected because you engage each of them in the conversational action, and as a result they are more connected as well with one another. You make home a warmer and more interesting place for everyone who lives there.You might also be helpful to some people. There are those who need to talk but aren’t very good at it. They don’t know how to begin the kind of conversation that would allow them to share whatever is in their personal stories that they’d like or need to talk about. You could make that easier for them with your way with words. Some people just need an example and a little encouragement to come out of their shell and get into the greater fun and personal connectedness that will make their lives so much more satisfying. Again, you might be just the right person to make that happen for them.

    So almost everyone will be glad to be with you, you make life more interesting for those you live and work with, and you could help some of your friends who need just a little encouragement to open up and find in themselves the kinds of energetic and warm connections that you thrive on. Not that you are a pushover; in fact, you are often quite assertive. In taking care of yourself you also make sure that others are engaged and energized.

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    CoNsCiEnTiOuSnEsS

    February 12, 2008 at 12:30 am (Personal, kwiz)

    • Introduction to Conscientiousness
    • Your approach toward your obligations is
    • Words that describe you
    • A General Description of How You Interact with Others
    • Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
    • Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
    Introduction to Conscientiousness
    It’s a work day, breakfast is over, and you’re dressed and ready. So how will you approach the tasks at hand? Some people work best with a clear schedule, a set of priorities and a due date for every step in the process. Others are, shall we say, less regimented. They approach a task with as much imagination as organization, and with a willingness to bend and modify in order to exercise some urge of creativity.How about you? Do you walk in a straight line toward a clear goal, or are you more likely to dance your way down whatever path will get you wherever it is you’re headed? The following paragraphs describe ways in which you approach the tasks life brings to you, and to what extent you are focused or flexible in how you choose to proceed.
    Your approach toward your obligations is:
    FOCUSED AND FLEXIBLE
    Words that describe you:
    • Casual
    • Informal
    • Compliant
    • Reliable
    • Organized
    • Solid
    • Dependable
    • Uncommitted
    • Genuine
      A General Description of How You Interact with Others
      When you take on a task at work or at home, you are reliable; you get the job done. In an organized way, you define the goal, lay out a plan, figure how long the task will take, and get to work “solid and dependable you”.But and this is important you’re not a slave to the plan. You’re committed to it, but not chained to it; the connection is more casual and informal. You know that sometimes “the best laid plans” fall off the tracks; when this happens, you clean up the train wreck and start over, undeterred.

      Though not happening often, when plans change, you’re okay with it. In fact, sometimes you change the plan. It’s too nice of a Saturday to finish organizing the garage. Let’s go for a bike ride instead. True, the next rainy Saturday will likely find you back in the garage, but for now the work can wait.

      What an interesting combination of qualities in you’re organized, but casual; solid, but compliant; and dependable, but informal. At home and at work, people know they can rely on you. You take great satisfaction in knowing that people think of you as disciplined and responsible, but you also know that you have something of a free spirit in you, and when this spirit moves you, off you go, following the impulse of the moment. You are rightly proud of your work ethic, but you also enjoy your willingness to lay the tools down, crank up the music and play like a child.
      Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
      Some people live like Marines: duty-bound, disciplined and driven. To these people you might seem uncommitted; where they would never leave work for play or change plans in the middle of their life’s forced march, you let the circumstance sway you and move in a different direction, and they don’t understand.Others live like kites on a string, attached by thin threads to the solid ground of responsibility and are blown about by every gust of impulse or imagination. To these people you might seem too cowardly, like you’ll flirt with your impulses but never give in fully, play on a Saturday but never blow of the entire work-week to “follow your bliss”.

      While these Marines and kite-flyers might look down on you for your combination of focus and flexibility, others might be envious. They can’t free themselves from a sense that they’re not doing enough, or from the equally frustrating feeling that they’re not free enough.

      And here you are with your accomplishments and your pleasures, getting the job done but also getting your hair blown back as you run with the wind. As far as these people are concerned, you’re lucky you’ve got the best of both of the worlds in which they feel they fail.
      Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
      What a great life you have, and a great attitude to boot. You know when to buckle down and push ahead to get the job done, and you do it well. You know when to lay the tools of your trade aside, grab your kite and head for the meadow where you can run with the wind. Many people will see and admire in you this lovely combination of a person who can focus, but who is flexible enough to know when to let the spirit move you in some new and livelier direction.It’s a life they aspire to, and they delight in seeing it played out in your life. They may ask your advice and turn you into a mentor of the full and balanced experience. They will want to know how you do it, what the costs are, and if you get frightened that you’re not working hard enough or playing often enough. They may make you think about your own life more than you have, so you can share it with those who want to emulate this balance between flexibility and focus. They may be correct lucky you!

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      eMoTiOnAl sTaBiLiTy

      February 12, 2008 at 12:28 am (Personal)

      • Introduction to Emotional Stability
      • On Emotional Stability you are
      • Words that describe you
      • A General Description of Your Reactivity
      • Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
      • Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
      Introduction to Emotional Stability
      We’re born with the capacity to feel deeply, so it’s as natural as breathing to experience a range of emotions. Fear and joy and sadness, anger and shame and disgust lie somewhere within each of us. Ah, but to what extent do we control these emotions, and to what extent do they control us? How you answer this question of how your emotions play out in your life has a great deal to do with your levels of personal satisfaction and with the character of your relationships with others. Do you manage your emotions well, keeping them in check with your thinking and your willpower, or are you someone who lets emotions have their way, giving in to the wild dance of feelings? The following paragraphs describe your emotional range in terms of being a person who is emotionally steady or someone who is responsive to whatever feelings swell up in you.

       
      On Emotional Stability you are:
      SOMETIMES STEADY, SOMETIMES RESPONSIVE
      Words that describe you:
      • Adaptable
      • Engaged
      • Able to Cope
      • Passionate
      • Perceptive
      • Flexible
      • Receptive
      • Aware
      • Avid
        A General Description of Your Reactivity
        In some ways, you’ve got the best of emotional worlds. When emotions rise up from inside you or are brought forth from a conversation by a friend, you know how to engage them. You deal with sadness, fear, joy, anger – whatever comes up – in ways that are perceptive and flexible. You can adapt to whatever level of emotion is appropriate to the moment. At other times, you are able to cope with your emotions in a more reserved manner. Because you are aware of what does and does not make emotional sense in a particular situation, you will decide when it is an appropriate time to express your emotions and when it would be best to keep them to yourself.All of this gives you a rich emotional life. You are free to express your passions about certain subjects with appropriate people. But you are also emotionally adaptable; if the conversation needs to be more cerebral, you’ll keep it “in your head” and talk calmly through whatever issue is on the table. This emotional awareness serves you well. You seldom get in over your head, either by opening up to the wrong person or by triggering in someone else’s emotions they may not be able to deal with.
        Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
        When it comes to dealing with emotions we all meet some people with whom we don’t match well. You bring a balanced approach to your emotional life. As such, those who are at the extremes are most likely to have a negative reaction to you. Those who live in their emotions may feel you tend to “live in your head” while those who go through life as an emotional rock may feel that you are a bit too “touchy feely” for their approach.And of course it is always possible that because you do balance your emotional approach to life you may misread others – we all do at times. So there have undoubtedly been those times when you have misread cues and stayed in your head with someone who hoped for a more open emotional approach or you may have opened up emotionally with someone who keeps their emotions bottled up. But these things happen and since you do have a good balance of being in touch with your emotions and not being overly impacted by emotional swings, you undoubtedly are able to adapt.Another potential problem is that as people get to know you well, they will discover that you have a great balance between emotional expression and emotional control. If they don’t have this balance they may wind up envying you. They can’t express feelings as well as you, or they are too often out of emotional control and resent you for your ability to cope so well with the very emotions that may trip them up.
        Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
        Many people will be grateful to find a friend like you who can stay in control when emotions verge on chaos, but who can also go into the tangle of emotions when it is safe and appropriate to do so. Because of your ability to engage them at whatever level they are comfortable, to adapt to whatever changes in emotion emerge in the conversation, and to cope so well with all of it – well, they’ll be very glad they found a person like you. You may, in fact, wind up as something of an emotional mentor. Your awareness of the emotional temperature of a situation, your ability to adapt to either heat or cold, and your ability to cope with whatever winds up happening in the conversation could be models for them to follow as they come to terms with their own emotional worlds.

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        OpEnNeSs

        February 12, 2008 at 12:27 am (Personal, kwiz)

        • Introduction to Openness
        • On the Openness Dimension you are
        • Words that describe you
        • A General Description of How You Approach New Information and Experiences
        • Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward Your Style of Thinking
        • Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
        Introduction to Openness
        How firmly committed are you to the ideas and beliefs that govern your thinking and guide your behavior? Some people trust their current ideas and beliefs the way a climber trusts the mountain; whichever way they move, whether the climb is on a familiar trail or over new ground, there is something solid beneath them, something they count on.For others, new ideas, new solutions to old problems, new beliefs that replace tired convictions are like welcome wind in their sails. They can hardly wait to tack in a new direction and ride a new idea through uncharted waters. If it’s new, it’s interesting, and they’re ready to explore.The following paragraphs describe your responses to new ways of thinking and believing. How do you handle new information? Are you more like the climber on a familiar mountain or a sailor with a tiller in hand and a fresh breeze to propel you? How you integrate and process new information about the world and about others is a core aspect of your personality.
        On the Openness Dimension you are:
        CONTENT
        Words that describe you:
        • Sensible
        • Realistic
        • Conventional
        • Sincere
        • Simple
        • Firm
        • Earnest
        A General Description of How You Approach New Information and Experiences
        You find that you are usually more comfortable with ideas and beliefs that you have held for a long time. These values, which for you are tried-and-true, provide you with practical solutions to life’s problems, and with straightforward ways of engaging in intellectual discussions and debates. You’ve tested these positions over time, you know them well, they work for you, and you trust them. You like the way these solutions provide consistency and value to your life.You’ve always been teachable as well. Whether in textbooks or classrooms, or through a wide variety of personal and interpersonal experiences, you’ve explored and tested the values and ideas you hold dear. Along the way you’ve grown to recognize ideas and beliefs that fit with your life. When this happens, you open yourself to learning what it is that this can teach you. Most of the time evaluating new information strengthens what you know and trust; the “next new thing” usually proves too shallow or too impractical to dislodge you from what has served you so well.
        Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward Your Style of Thinking
        Not everyone will be thrilled by your commitment to the tried-and-true, and your practical solutions to problems of all sorts. Some people are in flight most of the time, leaving behind where they’ve come from and peering into whatever brand-new thought or experience they come across. They live for these flights of fancy. So they may find your commitment to the tried-and-true very trying and even boring. So be it; you won’t be a companion on their journey. And that is fine with you. You will likely continue on being quite satisfied with your approach to important beliefs and ideas.
        Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
        Despite some negative reactions toward your style of thinking, many others will appreciate in you the combination of a steadiness of mind and openness to occasional change. They will find your practical solutions clear and accessible in an intellectual environment that is too often fuzzy and lacking clear values. They will come to trust you as someone who is not swayed by every new intellectual wind that blows, nor tantalized by some imaginative belief or value that seems attractive at first but usually proves in the long run to be unreliable as a guide in life. In a complicated and fractious intellectual climate they will find your clear thinking, your practical ideas and your down-to-earth solutions to problems to be a great relief.

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        AgReEabLeNeSs

        February 12, 2008 at 12:25 am (Personal, kwiz)

        • Introduction to Agreeableness
        • You are best described as
        • Words that describe you
        • A General Description of How You Interact with Others
        • Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
        • Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
        Introduction to Agreeableness
        This section of your profile describes your interactions with other people. The ways we communicate our feelings, beliefs and ideas to others are influenced by our cultural backgrounds, the way we were raised, and sometimes which side of the bed we got up on this morning. Some of us are very mindful of others making decisions we hope will be in their best interests, even if it means sometimes neglecting our own interests. Others of us believe each person should be responsible for themselves, taking deep pride in our own character and independence with a firm belief that others are best served by doing the same. The following describes how you engage with others; illustrating the dimension of your personality that determines your independence or your desire to reach out and touch others in meaningful ways.
        You are best described as:
        USUALLY TAKING CARE OF OTHERS

        Words that describe you:
        • Understanding
        • Unquestioning
        • Humane
        • Selfless
        • Gentle
        • Kindhearted
        • Gullible
        • Indulgent
        A General Description of How You Interact with Others
        Here’s one important truth about you: you have a tender heart. Yes, you know that others need to learn to take care of themselves. Yes, you know they need to accept the consequences of their foolish or bad behavior. And sometimes, even when your instinct is to help them, you will let them fend for themselves and let them suffer the consequences of their choices or circumstances.But most of the time you are there to help when they need you. If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful. If they need someone who will listen, you are trustworthy and sympathetic. And you are direct with them; when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in a straightforward, direct manner, without beating around the bush.You’re also smart enough to know that you cannot take good care of others if you fail to take good care of yourself, so you listen to your own wants and needs. If you’ve run out of sympathetic energy, you spend time restoring yourself. If you’ve ignored your own pain or frustration, you find a friend who will listen well, or go into your own private healing place and give yourself permission to focus on you.But before long, you’re back at it with your friends, offering a sympathetic ear and compassion on which they learn to trust, also giving straightforward advice and counsel when they ask for it. You do know how to take care of yourself, but your genuine interest is in taking care of others.
        Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
        Selfish people might be embarrassed by you. While they’re using their time and energy almost exclusively on themselves, they see you giving time to others, and your kindness puts them in a bad light.Maybe they’ll think you’re a phony, that you use your altruism to get others indebted to you so they’ll then owe you a favor. Or perhaps they’ll accuse you, directly or behind your back, of focusing on the needs of others so no one ever focuses on your foibles or your genuine wounds.All of these are false accusations; yours is a genuine compassion, because you truly have a tender heart. One criticism might be more substantial, though. People might notice when you let things get out of balance and spend so much time responding to others that you neglect your own needs.Perhaps it’s true to some extent that you are more comfortable when the focus is on someone else’s needs than when you and your needs are front and center, and this may be a criticism worth paying attention to.

         
        Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
        Positive responses to you are likely to far outweigh negative responses. For many people, your genuine kindness will be an example of a way to treat others and a way we want others to treat us. They will see in you the traits of compassion and sympathy which they might want to focus on in the development of their own character.For those people you help you will be the friend they need, there at the right moment to help them when they’ve stepped into yet another thicket of pain or confusion. They will be grateful for your listening, for your straight talk when they need straight talk more than anything, and for the hand you extend so they can find their way, with your help, out of whatever tangle they’ve gotten themselves into.

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